PART TWO: Little Miracle Man - The Day of the Accident

I remember being barefoot running down my street, hearing sirens, not sure what to expect but feeling the fear of what I would see once I got to the scene of the accident.  I rounded the corner of the street Elisha had been hit on and every sound seemed muffled.  I was breathing heavy from the run, adrenaline, fear, all of it.  Nate had run ahead of me and was already squatting, looking down… Time seemed to move so slow in that moment.  I saw Nate and I saw what he was looking at… 

I could hear my heart beating in my ears like a bass drum… like it sounds when your head is completely submerged in water and all you can hear is your own heart… yes, that’s what it sounded like.

Then…

My heart stopped. Everything stopped.

I saw my little boy lying in the road on his right side.  He looked so precious, like he was sleeping.  His left leg was across his right one and his arms were both in front of him, crossed at the wrists, like anyone of us would have our own arms if we were curled up on the sofa taking an afternoon nap.  I looked at his face and he looked a little pale but still so sweet.  Then I saw the blood…  It puddled around him like a blanket.  It started under his head and I could see where it had flowed all the way down past his knee.  I watched Elisha as I ran closer.  I saw no one but Elisha.  I heard no one.  Then Nate’s movement, as he turned to face me, shattered the quiet.  I looked at Nate, his own face pale and in shock.  He raised his hand up to stop me and told me to not come closer.  Nate knew me better than anyone; I trusted him and didn’t get too close to Elisha.  In retrospect, I wonder why I was able to restrain myself in that moment.  I guess most mothers would run up to their child in a panic and do something more appropriate but I had no idea what I was doing and certainly wasn't thinking about what I was "supposed" to do.  I walked right past Elisha and Nate.  I was in a daze, I guess.   Was I in shock?  I don’t know.  I felt hollow.  Numb. My arms felt heavy.  My feet felt like I was dragging twenty pounds with each step.   Even that description seems to minimize what was going on inside of me.  I mean, how should I have felt right after seeing my own child laying in his own blood?    

I don’t know how far I walked or where I was going but all of a sudden something took over my emotions. I couldn’t cry. I couldn’t be afraid.  I started feeling a confidence rise up from deep down.  I looked up to heaven, raised my hands and said, ”God, I know You! I know You are Good! I know You!  I know You are Good!”  The more I said it the louder I became. “God I know you!  I know you are Good!  I know you are Faithful!  I know you!”   

I remember I looked to the left and saw the young lady who was driving the car that hit Elisha… she was completely hysterical.  It didn’t faze me.  All I could think about was God.  “God I know you! I know you are good!”  Those words kept falling from my lips.  I didn't think about anything except what I knew of God.  God is good.  God is faithful.  God is big.  God is mighty.  Nothing is too difficult for Him.  God is good.  God is faithful. God is mighty.  He is able.  God is good.  God is faithful.  He is God.  I don't remember everything I was praying.  I just opened my mouth and words just kept coming.  Faith took over.

Somehow, I ended up in the front seat of the ambulance.  I knew Elisha was in the back of the ambulance but I couldn’t tell you how he got there.  I began praying out loud as I looked out the windshield.  I could see nothing even though my eyes were open.  I could hear nothing even though there was so much going on around me.  I began praying every scripture I have prayed over Elisha since he was in my womb.  I prayed with boldness.  I must have been a little loud and distracting to the medics who were working on Elisha in the back of the ambulance because one of the EMTs came around the side of the ambulance and asked me if I would ride in another vehicle with him.  I got out of the ambulance and walked over to the sidewalk and fell to my knees.  I kept praying, “I know You God!  I know you are Good! You are Faithful!  You are mighty and I trust You!”