Little Miracle Man - Bad to the Bone

Several hours later they rolled Elisha back up to his room in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit.  He looked so precious.  His eyes were a little swollen, half of his hair was shaved which made him look like he had a mullet/mohawk, he had staples holding together where they had done the incision that started at one ear and went up over his head to his other ear.  The bandage on his head  began at his forehead and went up to the staples.  I looked at the bandage and saw the word “bone”.  I thought the doctors had written “bad to the bone” on his bandage.  Don’t ask me why… It might have just been me trying to find something funny during  such a serious situation.  Our praying nurse was in the room with us started to laugh and decided to write “bad-to-the-bone” on Elisha’s bandage.  I remember thinking to myself, “This little guy is so tough!  He is such a rockstar!”  Yet, as a mommy I hated not being able to ease his pain with a song or a hug.  Why did he get hit by a car?  It made no sense to me.  I know God and I know He wouldn’t throw any child in front of a car.  It’s not His nature… but why did this happen God?  The questions started to bombard my mind.  The doubt and fear wanted to swallow me whole.  I stopped.  I stopped my mind and I looked at Nate and told him I was going to take a walk.  I walked into a different family lounge that was empty.  I put my headphones in and began praising God for His goodness, for His faithfulness!  I praised God for His love and power!  I walked around the family lounge with my hands raised, headphones in, and on the verge of shouting out loud!  I wasn’t going to let my mind go to places that would cause me to doubt the power and promises of my Heavenly Father!  No WAY!  I was doing battle with my own mind in that moment.  I began speaking God’s Word.  I opened my Bible and looked for more scriptures on the Greatness of God.  

The Lord took me to the Psalms.

Psalm 108:1-6

O God, my heart is fixed (steadfast, in the confidence of faith); I will sing, yes, I will sing praises, even with my glory all the faculties and powers of one created in Your image!

Awake, harp and lyre; I myself will wake very early—I will waken the dawn! 

I will praise and give thanks to You, O Lord, among the peoples; and I will sing praises unto You among the nations.

For Your mercy and loving-kindness are great and high as the heavens!  Your truth and faithfulness reach to the skies!

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens, and let Your glory be over all the earth.

That Your beloved may be delivered, save with Your right hand and answer us!          

I stayed in the lounge praying, praising and speaking out the Word until I was back into the peace of God.  I didn't care about the people walking past the lounge who could see me.  All I cared about was covering my emotions and my mind with the promises of God.  I stayed there until I had transformed my thinking into believing.  Do I believe God’s Word? YES!  Do I believe God’s promises?  YES!  Do I have to understand the why? NO!  I just need to trust in the One who is all powerful.  The One who wasn’t surprised the accident happened.  The One who died for me and my little boy.  The One who is alive and more real than anything on this earth!  Yes!!!  I transformed my mind and ran to the arms of the safest Being possible… The Lord’s arms!  

Those first few days seemed to fly by even though there were some moments that dragged.  I can’t even remember when one day started and another day ended.  Our oldest son Josh had been staying with our friends and family.  My heart broke for what he had been through.  I can’t imagine what it feels like to be riding bikes with your brother one minute and then turning around and seeing him lying in the road in his own blood the next minute.  I felt an urgency for him just as much as I did for Elisha.  I wasn't sure how I was going to balance being away from Josh and staying at Elisha’s side.  

God already had a plan in place…  Several months prior to the accident my sister and brother-in-law were planning on moving back to the east coast.  They had been living in Redding CA for the last several years and had felt the Lord telling them to move back to VA.   We had already told them they could live with us until they found a new place to live and got settled.  They had packed everything the week before Elisha’s accident and had told me they would be driving back to VA from CA at the beginning of the week.  My sister, Becky, had already quit her job so they were ready to hit the road and head east.  Elisha’s accident happened on Sunday and my sister and brother-in-law were in Lynchburg VA by the following Monday, living in our home.  Coincidental?  I don’t believe so.  God was not surprised the accident happened and had already planned to take care of Josh months in advance.  Their motive to move back to VA wasn’t to stay with Josh but God in all of His goodness knew we were facing the greatest battle we have ever faced as a family and we needed their support.   Josh was able to live in his own home, with his own dogs, in his own neighborhood and I would feel comfortable knowing he was safe living with my family.  In retrospect, God blew my mind with His faithfulness!  He already knew everything I would be concerned about.  Of course I knew we had so many people willing to help to take care of Joshua but not having to worry about whose house he would stay at or who would be willing to take care of him for several days while we were at the side of Elisha was a load the Lord completely took care of well in advance.  God is just too good!

Little Miracle Man - I Don't Understand the "Why"

We went into the lounge where all of our family and friends were sitting.  I told everyone Elisha had some brain swelling and the leg surgery was going to have to wait until he was more stable.  Then I told everyone the news about Elisha being put into a medically induced coma.  I remember looking at the faces of everyone after I shared what was going on with Elisha.  I could sense the discouragement, fear and empathy, which were normal reactions.  Of course I felt it too but only for a moment.  Nate and I still had the peace we felt earlier which trumped the momentary fear we both felt after hearing the doctors’ decision.  That was when I spoke up and said to everyone, “Now that we know what we are facing it’s time to pull ourselves up into faith and believe our God will heal that little boy."  

Nate and I knew the outcome of the situation based on the peace and the clear answer of healing we both heard.  We knew Elisha would be healed but in the natural, Elisha’s body needed this coma.  The safety of the peace up to that point seemed to not allow us to feel too much but I could tell my emotions were beginning to break through.

The first 36 hours after Elisha’s accident were a blur.  We didn’t have any time to sleep nor do I think I would have been able to sleep.  We were in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit at Elisha’s side.  The beeping of the machines became the music we listened to as it directed our emotions.  When the alarms sounded our hearts would race, when the beeps were steady we were calm.  The intensity of the feelings was extreme as I looked at my little boy hooked up to every sort of machine, his eyes closed, dried blood on the side of his face and in his ears… I couldn’t kiss Elisha’s booboos and just hug away the pain.  I had to sit there and wait on the Lord to do His thing.  I had to completely surrender control to Jehovah Rapha, the God that heals.  Easy to say.  How do you surrender your own child?  How do you let go of trying to "fix" when the "fix" could only be a supernatural one? 

 

Tuesday morning I was expecting and hoping to hear some sort of good news.  We had gone to grab some coffee and breakfast.  When we got back to the room the neurosurgeon was standing outside of Elisha's room.  He had a concerned look on his face.  He then said the brain swelling was becoming way too much and Elisha would have to have the front portion of his skull removed to give the brain room to swell.  

What?! I was confused.  Why in the world would Elisha have to go through this surgery?  

I just didn’t understand.  God told us and gave us a supernatural peace about Elisha’s healing.  Wasn’t Elisha supposed to be up by now?   

I grabbed the wall as Nate and I stood outside of Elisha’s PICU room talking with the doctors and I began to fall and cry.  Someone grabbed a chair to put behind me as I fell backwards.  Seriously?  Elisha’s skull had to be removed??!! Nothing seemed to make sense. What was happening?

At that point, they had to get him ready for surgery.  Our praying nurse knew we wanted to pray over Elisha before he went into surgery.  She literally yelled for everyone in the room to be quiet so Nate and I could lay hands on our little man and pray for him.  That nurse would always join with us in prayer every time she was around to pray with us.  She was amazing and we were so blessed she was with us and Elisha! When we finished praying they rolled Elisha down to surgery.  Nate and I walked out into the hallway in front of the family lounge.  I dropped to the tiled hospital floor and began crying.  Nate started calling all of our family and friends to get everyone to start praying.  I closed my eyes and cried out to the Lord.  Questioning Him and His plan.  I had to pull myself back into the arms of God and rest in the confidence He had given me.  

I heard the PICU doors open and I looked up to see a Latin American gentleman walking out.  He looked right at me and kept walking towards me.  I wiped the tears off my face and stood up to meet him.  He had tears in his eyes and when he reached me he said with a Spanish accent, “My son is dead.”  I was shocked and broken for him.  Nate had gotten off of the phone and walked up to us right as the gentleman was telling me what happened to his son.  I didn’t have words but we did have common ground… His son was hit by a car the Friday before Elisha’s accident.  Two families who understood the emotional pain of watching our babies suffer.  Two families whose little boys were both hit by cars the very same weekend.  We all hugged each other and then I finally said, “I don’t understand the "why?"  I just know God is faithful.”  I remember Nate leaning in to pray for him.  His words seemed comforting and hopeful.  Selfishly, in that moment I was able to take my mind off my situation and get out of my emotions.  I had just been overwhelmed with confusion and doubt.  Asking God why? Then God brought someone else into our lives who needed to feel the love of God.  It was our moment to be Jesus even though we didn't feel like it.  This dad needed to see a God who understands the grief when the unfathomable happens to our children.  God chose us to be the vessel of His love.  I was humbled. 

After he walked away Nate and I hugged.  We went into the family lounge and I put my headphones on and listened to praise and worship.  I was exhausted, physically and emotionally.  I attempted to lay my head down and close my eyes as I allowed the music to wash my mind of all the overwhelming news we had heard.  God had spoken to us about Elisha.  I knew He had.  My heart was broken for the little boy who had just lost his life and for the father we just spoke with.  I started praying to myself, “God I don’t understand I just know You are faithful to Your Word! Thank you for the peace you have given me and Nate.  Thank you honoring the Word of God I have spoken over my children.  Thank you Lord that You are mighty and powerful.  Thank you Jesus for every stripe you bore on your back for Elisha’s healing.  I stand in You.  I hide in You.  You are God!  I believe you!  Your Word is truth!  You are TRUTH!”  The song “Our God is Greater, Our God is Stronger” came on my headphones.  What a promise!  What timing!  God was gracious to give me that song in that moment.  He knew I needed to hear it.  I wrote in my journal that day, “Elisha is a miracle! I believe God will give our city and Josh (my other son) a miracle!”

PART FIVE: The Day of the Accident

I noticed there was an emergency room nurse in the waiting room with Nate.  She had been texted by friends of ours from Lynchburg.  She knew Elisha had been airlifted to Charlottesville.  She had just gotten off work when she received the text.  She felt the Lord prompt to her to stay and wait for our little boy.  When Elisha arrived she laid hands on him and prayed for him while he was getting ready for his Cat Scan.  We didn’t know her but the Lord was already bringing people around us who would prove to us God was all over this situation.  I was humbled the Lord had put her in our lives and that she made the choice to stay to pray.  I finally started to cry.  How sweet of the Lord to bring this precious lady into our lives to lay hands on our son immediately after he was wheeled on his stretcher into the emergency room.  She introduced herself to me and shared with me what she had already told Nate.  She said Elisha did move before his scan but there were still a lot of questions about his condition.

Nate’s mom and dad arrived in Charlottesville about the same time as my dad.  We were all quiet as we sat in the tiny ER waiting room.  Again, no one knew what to say.  We had a deep, real, hope because of the promise we received from God's Word earlier in the day and the peace from hearing Him speak to our spirit but it truly made my heart leap when the nurse had told us Elisha had moved right before his CT scan.

 

Nate and I then decided to take a walk.  We grabbed hands and walked out of the family lounge, through the doors of the emergency room and to the sidewalk outside of the ER entrance.  Where had the day gone? It was dark, a little cool because it had rained but so quiet and peaceful outside.  I took a deep breath and looked up to the sky.  There was turmoil going on inside the hospital and in Elisha’s body yet, just a few feet outside of the hospital doors it was calm.  I felt the same way, calm and confident, especially, with my hand in my husband's. We began walking up the sidewalk and Nate shared with me his faith in what God spoke to him.  He was sure.  It was truth to him.  I was so grateful to have Nate.  He had so much resolve in what God had spoken to the both of us.  We prayed thanking God for healing Elisha and making his body whole.   

We turned around to walk back into the emergency room.  Friends had started showing up at the hospital and we hadn’t called anyone outside of our parents.  Our pastors were walking into the emergency room just as we were.  We didn't know them well but we were thankful they chose to drive to Charlottesville to spend time with us.  Little did we know then how close of friends we would become.  One of Elisha’s friends showed up with his mom at the same time.  We soon had about 15 people come to pray with us and support us as we were at the beginning stages of Elisha’s journey.

 

The initial cat scan said there was no brain bleed or swelling, or so it seemed.  We were so thankful! We thought in that moment, out of our naiveté, Elisha would wake up and be ok.  No one really knew what was taking place in Elisha's body.  The doctors were still doing their evaluation of our little boy.  Everything we were being told was so preliminary but it seemed hopeful. 

  

Elisha went straight to the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit where they had him on several machines to monitor him.  Elisha’s vitals were good.  He was intubated to help him breath and his heart was beating.  They did an MRI and we were waiting for the results.  We believe Elisha hit the car on his left side which caused the compound fracture to his femur.  His broken femur tore through Elisha's skin.  We were told in a normal situation when the bone is exposed like that then it must be cleaned and set within 24 hrs of the accident.  The orthopedic surgeon decided to go ahead and operate on Elisha’s compound leg fracture that evening.  

I wasn't afraid.  I was in my own world, protected by God's presence. Just me, God and Nate.  I stayed in the PICU with Elisha while Nate went and updated everyone in the family lounge. 

There were several people in Elisha's room in scrubs.  I couldn't begin to tell you who was a doctor and who was a nurse.  Everyone was on a mission.  I was in the way and I could tell I was.  No one would ever tell me to get out of the way but all of the polite "excuse mes" as people tried to get past me was confirmation enough. They were rushed and determined to get Elisha ready for his leg surgery.  Nate came back to the room and didn't want Elisha to go into surgery without us praying for him.  We had connected immediately with one of Elisha's PICU nurses.  We told her we wanted to pray for Elisha before his surgery.  She was all for it, as a matter of fact, she asked to join us in prayer and laid hands on Elisha while we prayed for him.

The nurses and the doctors began transporting Elisha to the operating room.  Nate and I followed behind them as they rolled him to the elevator.  I stared at the closing elevator doors with supernatural hope and expectation.  Nate and I walked into family lounge, let everyone know what was going on and waited.  

It had to have been about 15 minutes when the elevator doors opened back up and we saw them rushing Elisha back to the PICU.   Elisha’s vitals had become unstable.  The neurosurgeon came to the family lounge as Nate and I were getting ready to go into the PICU.  He told us the stimulation from moving Elisha had caused the intracranial pressure to increase to critical levels.  He walked us through the process they were getting ready to perform of drilling a bolt through Elisha's skull to monitor his brain pressure.   

Once the procedure was completed we were allowed back into Elisha's PICU room.  We were told to keep the lights low and to be as quiet as possible to prevent any stimulation.  We looked at Elisha and it was hard not to notice the bolt in his head.  To be honest, Elisha looked like he had an off-centered unicorn horn. The bolt was doing it's job.  The doctors realized his brain swelling was having a significant impact on all of his vitals.  They didn’t want Elisha to have a stroke or to have any other major medical complications from his injuries so the doctors decided to put Elisha into a medically induced coma to help stabilize him. His leg surgery was going to have to wait.

PART FOUR: The Day of the Accident

Nate decided to ride in the helicopter with Elisha to the University of Virginia Hospital in Charlottesville VA.  I ended up driving my mom and step-dad in my car to Charlottesville.  I felt like if I drove I could control something.  I remember I began to pray and sing songs to the Lord.  I didn’t want to talk about how I felt or what happened to Elisha so my mom and stepdad, Vick, respected the quiet I needed in the car to talk with the Lord.  Once I made it to the highway I was very conscious of putting the car in cruise control.  At that point, I began praising the Lord out loud.  I was singing a very old school song, How Great Thou Art.  That’s weird because I wouldn’t consider myself “old school” but for some reason that song came to mind.  I then began telling the Lord that I was boldly coming before Him like Moses did and I reminded Him of His Word.I told the Lord the scriptures I had spoken over Elisha since I found out I was pregnant with him more than twelve years ago:

Jeremiah 1:5

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew^[a] you,
    before you were born I set you apart;
    I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”

Psalm 139:14-16 (The Message has the best paraphrase)

^13-16 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
    you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
    Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
    I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
    you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
    how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
    all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
    before I’d even lived one day.

Jeremiah 29:11

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I prayed, "Lord, you said your Word does not return void but will accomplish what you say it will.  I believe that promise from your Word."

As I was quoting those scriptures back to the Lord I asked Him to heal Elisha based on the promises I have prayed over him since he was in my womb.  I didn’t want my emotions to manipulate God but the God I know wants us to boldly come before Him with our requests, believing in faith He will.  I prayed and felt the Lord say, “You got it.” Elisha would be healed.  The assurance I felt at the scene of the accident seemed to permeate my entire body.  An overwhelming peace embraced me.  In that moment, doubt couldn’t take hold of me, I just knew God was going to heal Elisha completely.  I felt it all the way to my bones.  The Lord gave me faith, not just optimism, and a peace that I knew came from the throne of God.  The Lord had this entire situation in His hands and that little boy was going to be whole. 

Vick and my mom dropped me off at the emergency room entrance and they both left to go park the car.  As I walked in I saw Nate.  We hugged each other and the first thing I said to him was, “Baby, I have a peace about this.  God is going to heal that little man!”  Nate looked me straight in the eyes and said he felt the same way.  He said, “I prayed the entire way here.  As I was praying, I was able to look out over the land we passed and thought to myself that if God could create this world he certainly can heal Elisha.  If God created Elisha’s brain then He can and will heal it.” He and I have both wondered if we felt that peace at the exact moment, him while he was in the air and me while I was driving.  We both knew Jesus was going to powerfully, demonstrate Himself through the journey we were about to embark on.