Guest Blog post from Relentless Love Table Leader Caitlin Candler

I Have Been The Donkey by Caitlin Candler

I have no idea who to give credit to for this story, but I wanted to share it with all of you.  One day, a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried for hours as the farmer pondered what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

The farmer invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly – the whole world seemed to be against him. Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down.  A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.  As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

This story hits home for me in a myriad of ways. 

First, it clearly demonstrates to me what Robin shared with us about the tendency for all of us to fall “into the pit” at different times of our lives.  Second, it demonstrates the power of the enemy to convince us that there is no way out of the situation we’re in. Maybe someone close to us has hurt us or let us down.  Maybe we feel that we just don’t measure up in our marriages, in our jobs, as parents, as friends.  Maybe we have just gone through an unspeakable loss that has simply shaken us to our core and makes us question everything in our lives…even our faith or God’s goodness.  Perhaps we’re dealing with utter loneliness and we feel lost. Maybe we feel that there is an anchor tied around our ankles that keeps us in the pit. Maybe that anchor is fear, guilt, or shame from past experiences. Who knows what that situation is for you, but be sure that the enemy will take advantage of any opportunity to separate you from our great and glorious God!

I am here to tell you that I’ve been the donkey.  I, as Robin said, am one hot mess!  One of the more recent pits was back when I was engaged almost three years ago. To make a very very long story more concise, I discovered that my relationship had become an idol in my life and I disguised it as gratitude to God for sending me the PERFECT man! The one little detail I forgot was that the person I was marrying was simply that – a person…a flawed, broken sinner just like me – nowhere near perfect. One night in my fiancé’s life, the flesh won over the Holy Spirit and this led to my trust and my heart being horribly broken. As he confessed to me painful details and begged for my forgiveness, I heard two voices – one was the enemy telling me, “You aren’t good enough.” “Maybe if you were more fun, this wouldn’t have happened.” “You’ll never fulfill his desires.” The other, more direct and audible voice, however, was that of the Holy Spirit.  This voice only said two things to me, and it repeated these two things over and over. The first was, “Forgive much for I have forgiven much.” The second, “7x70 times.”

God took time to reassure me time and time again throughout the huge valley that was our struggle. His love is that personal! He clearly communicated to me that this relationship WAS His doing. When I was crying out to God to please give me a break and that I was tired from all the trials I’d been through in my life, He went into Father-mode and challenged me – “Have you ever thought that maybe I knew that you were going to need a man strong enough to understand your struggles and constantly pursue you and also that your husband was going to need a woman who has the strength and faith to overcome and forgive?” WOW! I love it when God puts me in my place – He showed me that He has been using all of the events of my life to bring me right where He wants me to be! How amazing is His love? How insane is His redemption? My husband and I are sinners and are so unworthy of the plans He has for us, and yet He chose to use us anyway!!! His Son died for us, knowing we would NEVER be able to earn or deserve it...knowing we would fail!

It has been almost two years since we chose to make our three-part covenant with God in marriage, and while we have had to overcome a LOT more than most newlywed couples, God has consistently poured His love and mercy over us. He has helped me fight those terrible “pit-like” thoughts that the enemy used against me – He brought truth to the lies and has made us stronger than ever before. We would each tell you that, despite it all, we are the most blessed people we know, and it's all because of God's love. I could tell you story after story of how God has blessed us individually and also in our marriage – we both know that He enjoys that we rely on Him and we enjoy that He always has and always will be there for us.  As He says, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33