The Struggle is Real

I sat in my car as the tears rolled down my face, feeling the crushing blow from the words I had never heard before... "You have had a miscarriage." I waited to feel until I was away from people who didn't know me or my story. I waited to find the quiet place to share my heart with the One who has been with me in every disappointment and hurt. My quiet place ended up being my car, in the parking lot of the doctor's office. I cried. A deep cry.

Christmas Eve was when we found out we were pregnant.  I was shocked, a little overwhelmed but excited all at the same time. We began praying for this baby and asking the Lord to prepare us for this new little addition to our family. My husband was laying hands on my belly and talking to it with the expectation our little one could hear him.

Now... the weight of a hope deferred has hit. My car felt safe. I called my husband who I knew would feel the disappointment deeply. He was at another doctor's office with our little girl who was sick. I called him crying and he knew. It wasn't his time to process his feelings in front of our little girl at the doctor's office while on the phone with me. I chose to go into work for a few to try to distract myself. It was difficult. I ended up leaving early.

When I got home I was reminded of a blog post I had just written about having hope for 2016. Ummmm, God? This doesn't seem to fit under that umbrella. I remember hearing a quiet voice in my heart reminding me of the nature of God.

He is good.
He is redeemer.
He restores.
He resurrects.

Here it is, here is how we as believers handle pain... we feel, we wrestle with the feelings, we wrestle with God, we question and then, then we do what we should do best... we believe. When we invest in our relationship with God and pursue an understanding of who He is through scripture, prayer and worship then we understand we are only able to see the smallest part of the biggest picture, an eternal picture that is painted by a magnificent Heavenly Father. Too often we attach pain and disappointment to God but if we read scripture we see a beautiful story of redemption and the glorious love of our God.

Yes the pain of struggle and disappointment are very real. We learned that in 2012 when our son, at 12 years old, was hit by a car riding his bike and is now limited to a wheelchair due to traumatic brain injury. However, we have seen God's goodness over and over again in the midst of our pain and our son's pain. God has touched lives and transformed them because those people have seen a family who chooses to believe in the redemptive nature of God.  Do we land there immediately every time? No. Nevertheless, we are so glad God's goodness and redemption isn't dependent upon our initial reaction. 

Here's the deal, what should separate believers from the world is hope in the redemptive nature of God. You see, as believers we don't live in defeat. Why? Because we know the end. Our end is eternity in heaven. We get to live from a place of victory. So every situation we face we know that we know that we know our eternity is secured in Christ!

Listen, we are human and in our humanity we are created to feel. We are going to feel the pain and disappointment this world throws at us but we need to remain in Jesus.  He is for us and with us when we face struggles.

Look at these verses:

Romans 8
³⁵ Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? ³⁶ (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”) ³⁷ No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

The struggle is real but we have an eternal hope. A hope that shouldn't be shaken. We get to live knowing the end! Isn't that amazing? Come on believers, let's feel and question and then let's believe!