I Just Can't.

You know what it's like to know the truth but not always apply the truth. You know what it's like to feel overwhelmed, discouraged, and tired. You know what it's like when those three words, the words you promised yourself you wouldn't utter,  run through your brain. "I. Just. Can't."

I can't walk this road.

I can't stand up.

I can't love.

I can't control my emotions.

I can't do what God has called me to do.

I just can't.

Then you park yourself in those words. They lay like a heavy blanket over your shoulders.

The words, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me," come to mind. You know that verse well. You like to quote it to others when they are struggling. You quote the verse to yourself, however, you put the emphasis on the "I" versus the "through Christ." The burden weighs heavy again. It becomes the mantra you believe "I can do. I can do. I can do." Yet, you know you can't.

You can't do anything in your own strength for too long without buckling under your own weakness. There is no way you "can do" it all apart from Christ. Where you need to park yourself is in Christ. You should rest in the truth of Philippians 4:13. You can do all things through CHRIST who strengthens you.

The Amplified Version says it like this: "I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who [a]infuses inner strength into me; I am [b]self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency]." Phil. 4:13 (with emphasis).

When you understand, truly understand, you are IN CHRIST, IN HIS POWER, IN HIS LOVE, IN HIS GOODNESS, IN HIS STRENGTH then it's okay to say, "I can't... BUT I don't stand in my own strength. I stand in CHRIST."

What a revelation! You are in Christ's strength. He is infusing you with strength to be "ready for anything and equal to anything through Him." It's not longer about what you can do but what He will do in you. It's no longer about your strength but His.

2 Corinthians 12:9 "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."





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I Got A Tattoo

I had been contemplating getting a tattoo for months: should I or shouldn't I? I wanted to have a permanent reminder of God's goodness. He had been so good to me. It's no lie when I say His goodness has overtaken me during seasons of my life. I began to evaluate my life and I remembered specific moments when God was evidently moving in my life and on my behalf. You see, my son was hit by a car in 2012 and survived with a traumatic brain injury. Throughout his healing and rehab we have continued to see the Presence and Power of God in His body and in our lives. 

God is relentless. 

In 2011, after having gone through a divorce years before, the Lord brought the most amazing and loving man into my life who I married. A man who lays his life down for me and our children daily. 

God is relentless. 

2009 I battled with my identity feeling as if God could never use someone like me to minister because I was unqualified. I thought of myself as a divorced woman and was even told that by others. I felt abandoned and rejected. However, through the heartache and the hurt the Holy Spirit revealed to me who I really am IN Christ. I am His daughter, loved by a loving, relentless Heavenly Father. 

In 2002, a precious lady became a mentor of mine and taught me the importance of prayer. She didn't teach me just any kind of prayer but the kind of prayer that moves mountains. I began to love the Lord in ways I never had before because now prayer wasn't just me telling God what I needed or wanted but it became communion with Him. 

God is relentless in His pursuit. 

In 1999 and 2000 the Lord blessed my life with two of the most amazing babies. They were and are such gifts. God gave those babies to me to show me His unconditional love. He is relentless. 

In 1993, I had a nervous breakdown. I felt alone and scared. I had been living a life desiring others approval. It had been my ambition and I finally couldn't stand under the weight of never measuring up. God revealed to me I didn't have to do anything to be loved by Him. He loved me. He was relentless in demonstrating His love for me. It was the beginning of delving into how to stand in His love. 

God is relentless. 

In 1991 I chose to be baptized. The same year I experienced the Power of the Holy Spirit in ways that were tangible. I began to love the Word of God. I started journalling and memorizing scripture. I used to plug my headphones into my stereo system and listen to Amy Grant, Petra and Michael W.Smith over and over again. 

My life is evidence of God's relentless pursuit, relentless love, and relentless power. What tattoo should I get? Well of course... a relentless tattoo. I wanted to raise a monument in my life to remind myself and share with the others God is relentless. It wasn't just a tattoo for me but raising a monument to God's faithfulness, goodness and love. 

1 Samuel 7  12 Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer,[b] saying, “Thus far the Lord has helped us.”



Joshua 4
4 So Joshua called together the twelve men he had appointed from the Israelites, one from each tribe, 5 and said to them, “Go over before the ark of the Lord your God into the middle of the Jordan. Each of you is to take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, 6 to serve as a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, ‘What do these stones mean?’ 7 tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever.”



So, I got a tattoo, a monument, a permanent reminder, a story-starter, and a testimony on my body. Relentless. The word that represents my journey with the Lord. 

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#tattoo #Jesus #relentless #faith